婚前
                                                                               
女：你原先有過女朋友？
                                                                               
男：十年生死兩茫茫，不思量，自難忘。
                                                                               
女：死了？怎麼死的？
                                                                               
男：山為陵，江水為竭，冬雷陣陣夏雨雪。
                                                                               
女：喔，是天災。那這些年你怎麼過來的？
                                                                               
男：滿面塵灰煙火色，兩手蒼蒼十指黑。
                                                                               
女：唉，不容易。那麼你看見我的第一感覺是什麼？
                                                                               
男：忽如一夜春風來，千樹萬樹梨花開。
                                                                               
女：有那麼好？
                                                                               
男：糟粕所傳非粹美，丹青難寫是精神。
                                                                               
女：馬屁精！你有理想嗎？

男：他年若有凌雲志，敢笑黃巢不丈夫。
                                                                               
女：你.........對愛情的看法呢？
                                                                               
男：只在此山中，雲深不知處。
                                                                               
女：那你喜歡讀書嗎？
                                                                               
男：軍書十二卷，卷卷有爺名！
                                                                               
女：這牛吹大了吧？你那麼大才華，怎麼還獨身？
                                                                               
男：小姑未嫁身如寄，蓮子心多苦自知。
                                                                               
女：假如，我答應嫁給你，你打算怎樣待我？
                                                                               
男：一片冰心在玉壺
                                                                               
女：你保證不會對別的女人動心？
                                                                               
男：波瀾誓不起，妾心古井水。
                                                                               
女：暫且信你一回，我正打算去美國唸書，你能等我嗎？

男：寧飲建業水，不食武昌魚，寧還建業死，不止武昌居。
                                                                               
女：不過........
                                                                               
男：獨自憑欄，無限江山，別時容易見時難！
                                                                               
女：但是.........
                                                                               
男：望夫處，江悠悠，化為石，不回頭！
                                                                               
女：好了好了，怕了你.........
                                                                               
於是兩人結婚。

婚後
                                                                               
女：結婚那麼久，你還在想你原先的女朋友？
                                                                               
男：曾經滄海難為水，除去巫山不是雲。
                                                                               
女：那為什麼當年還和我結婚？
                                                                               
男：夢裡不知身是客，一晌貪歡。
                                                                               
女：太過分了吧。我們好歹是夫妻。
                                                                               
男：夫妻本是同林鳥，大難臨頭各自飛。
                                                                               
女：那我們這段婚姻，你怎麼看？
                                                                               
男：醒來幾向楚巾看，夢覺尚心寒！
                                                                               
女：有那麼慘嗎？你不是說對我的第一印象..........
                                                                               
男：美女如花滿春堂，身邊唯有鷓鴣飛。
                                                                               
女：不是這麼說的吧，難道，你竟然......

男：昔日齷齪不足誇，今朝放蕩思無涯。
                                                                               
女：一直以來朋友寫信告訴我我都不相信，沒想到竟是真的！
                                                                               
男：紙上得來終覺淺，絕知此事要躬行。
                                                                               
女：你原先的理想都到哪兒去了？
                                                                               
男：且把浮名，換了淺斟低唱。
                                                                               
女：你不是答應一片冰心的嗎？
                                                                               
男：不忍見此物，焚之已成灰。
                                                                               
女：你就不怕親朋恥笑，後世唾罵？
                                                                               
男：寧可抱香枝頭死，何曾吹落北風中。
                                                                               
女：我要不同意分手呢？
                                                                               
男：分手尚且為兄弟，何必非做骨肉親。
                                                                               
女：好，夠絕！

於是兩人離婚